Remote-controlled toys refers to the use of vibrators, plugs, or other intimate devices that can be operated wirelessly by a partner using a handheld remote or a smartphone app. The appeal typically involves an element of surprise, anticipation, and power exchange, since one person controls the device while the other wears or uses it. This can happen in private settings or, for those who enjoy a more daring element, in semi-public spaces where only the couple knows what is happening. The controlling partner adjusts intensity, patterns, and timing, giving them a form of consensual influence over the wearer's physical sensations. App-connected devices have expanded this kink significantly, allowing partners to play across any distance, making it popular in long-distance relationships as well. The kink sits at an intersection of technology, intimacy, and mild power dynamics, and can be explored at virtually any level of intensity depending on the preferences of both partners.
Establish clear consent and a stop signal or safeword before play begins, especially if the toy will be used in any public or semi-public setting. Discuss boundaries around location, duration, and intensity in advance. Ensure the toy is body-safe, properly charged, and cleaned before and after use. For app-connected devices, review the privacy and data settings of the app you use. Check in regularly, particularly during longer sessions, to confirm the wearer remains comfortable.
Reviewed by Reviewed by the Jar of Kinks editorial team